Monday, December 15, 2003
My Wife vs the Orange
My wife lost. Sure she drew first blood (juice) but the Orange finished the fight.
Ok here is how it went down. We had an orange that lived in our fridge, so on Friday my Wife plucked it from its home. Snatched it from its friends the apples and cheese and assaulted it with a knife. The Brave little citrus having been cut in half did the only thing it knew to do, and caused my wife to cut her own thumb in some Jacky Chan Fruit fight type move.
After that the Orange was returned to the fridge, knife still in its grip to fight another day. My wife however got rushed to the hospital as the loser of that fight. The Nurses and Doctors were pretty understanding, and even though they took 3 hours to sew her up, they still seemed to care. We both were very glad they were not more busy then they were.
Almost all kidding aside, my poor wife! After she cut herself she did sort of a "pee pee dance" only it was a "I cut myself" dance. She ran it under some water, while I sat watching TV. I didn't think it was that bad at first, then I realized that she was still going on about it 30 seconds after it happened, so it couldn't be just alittle nick... I thought she *might* need a bandaid. So I ran upstairs, to get a bandaid and the super glue, while she danced around with her finger under running water. When I came back down to put a band aid on her thumb I got to see it for the first time... It didn't need a band aid, it needed stitches!!!
I really thought she nearly cut the tip of her thumb off. Although I say this only having seen half the cut... What I didn't know was it was a lot more shallow then it looked at first. So off we were to the emergency room. Lucky for us there was only one person in the waiting room with us. So the wait wouldn't be that long right?
Well it only took them a half hour to get us to the HAZMAT room in the ER... It was like going to a hotel and being put in the broom closet. I was really wondering how much doctoring they were going to do in here. Anyhow not long after we got there we had a nurse like person come in and give my wife gauze. He also made sure to tell us some really gross and nasty stories to make sure we knew it could have been worse... If my wife would have been retarded and using a grinder, instead of intelligent and fighting Kung Fu Oranges.
2 hours after that, a doctor showed up to sew her thumb back on... Well not really. It really wasn't that big of a cut, it was deep however and it would not stop bleeding. No slight to my wife, as she had every right to be in pain over this, but I had NO IDEA that her threshold for pain was so low. I felt really bad for her and would have gladly went through this whole thing for her. The look on her face while they sowed her up was so heart breaking . Up to this point I had done my best to keep her entertained and laughing... But I couldn't do much during this part of our visit to the hospital to distract her. .
So after she was all stitched up and cleaned up, we got to go home.
The moral of the story? No idea.
-We cannot be more sensitive to pleasure without being more sensitive to pain.
Alan Watts
Ok here is how it went down. We had an orange that lived in our fridge, so on Friday my Wife plucked it from its home. Snatched it from its friends the apples and cheese and assaulted it with a knife. The Brave little citrus having been cut in half did the only thing it knew to do, and caused my wife to cut her own thumb in some Jacky Chan Fruit fight type move.
After that the Orange was returned to the fridge, knife still in its grip to fight another day. My wife however got rushed to the hospital as the loser of that fight. The Nurses and Doctors were pretty understanding, and even though they took 3 hours to sew her up, they still seemed to care. We both were very glad they were not more busy then they were.
Almost all kidding aside, my poor wife! After she cut herself she did sort of a "pee pee dance" only it was a "I cut myself" dance. She ran it under some water, while I sat watching TV. I didn't think it was that bad at first, then I realized that she was still going on about it 30 seconds after it happened, so it couldn't be just alittle nick... I thought she *might* need a bandaid. So I ran upstairs, to get a bandaid and the super glue, while she danced around with her finger under running water. When I came back down to put a band aid on her thumb I got to see it for the first time... It didn't need a band aid, it needed stitches!!!
I really thought she nearly cut the tip of her thumb off. Although I say this only having seen half the cut... What I didn't know was it was a lot more shallow then it looked at first. So off we were to the emergency room. Lucky for us there was only one person in the waiting room with us. So the wait wouldn't be that long right?
Well it only took them a half hour to get us to the HAZMAT room in the ER... It was like going to a hotel and being put in the broom closet. I was really wondering how much doctoring they were going to do in here. Anyhow not long after we got there we had a nurse like person come in and give my wife gauze. He also made sure to tell us some really gross and nasty stories to make sure we knew it could have been worse... If my wife would have been retarded and using a grinder, instead of intelligent and fighting Kung Fu Oranges.
2 hours after that, a doctor showed up to sew her thumb back on... Well not really. It really wasn't that big of a cut, it was deep however and it would not stop bleeding. No slight to my wife, as she had every right to be in pain over this, but I had NO IDEA that her threshold for pain was so low. I felt really bad for her and would have gladly went through this whole thing for her. The look on her face while they sowed her up was so heart breaking . Up to this point I had done my best to keep her entertained and laughing... But I couldn't do much during this part of our visit to the hospital to distract her. .
So after she was all stitched up and cleaned up, we got to go home.
The moral of the story? No idea.
-We cannot be more sensitive to pleasure without being more sensitive to pain.
Alan Watts
